When we knew it all - advice for the young
It's 10:12 p.m., Saturday, February 6, 2010 and 17 degrees.  There is so much snow outside.  :(  gah, I hate winter.  I hate feeling cold.

Well, I'm looking at my age and kinda laughing right now.  Remember when we were 18 and thought that we knew it all?  Remember when we confused infatuation with love and believed strongly that we were just meant to be with that person, regardless how they might have treated us?  We believed that no one knew better than we did and would never understand our plight.  Ha, how foolish were we?

As we grow up, we mature and realize who we are and who we want in our lives.  We become empathetic toward the plights of others and less absorbed in this thing called "self"

Ah, what mistakes could we have made when we were 18 and so naive to the world ever trusting to a young heart that was uneducated in the ways of the world.

Regardless how mature that you believe you are at 18, 19, 20 or even 22...you are not.  You are still a kid teetering into adulthood.  You have much to learn.  Until then, you are only going to follow infatuation and mal-formed ideals of what you think the world to be.  You are going to hurt someone along the way and it's important not to play with the heart.

When I was young, I thought that I had loved; however, I see, now, that I was just a kid trying to fit into a grown-up world and as I was hurt with the realities of the world (such as dating someone who had been divorced, or hearing tales of previous girlfriends) it chisels away at the illusion of your world.  Be prepared for that.  Everyone has a past and everyone learns from their past.  Don't hold anyone's past against them.  Otherwise, if the past is what they had wanted to remain in, how could you have met that person?

Don't find yourself lost in the jealousy of possessiveness.  It's not healthy and will only lead to fights.  Get two people together who are both lacking in emotional maturity, those fights could be disastrous. 

Take your time and get to know your friends.  Get to know your potential relationships.  Get to know yourself....but most importantly, do not disconnect yourself from your family.  If you family says that they do not like the person whom you are dating...do not fight them, cry nor argue.  But, believe me...they are not saying that to hurt you.  They are saying that because they see something in that person that they had seen when they were younger.  Despite what you children believe, your parents really have "been there and done that" and do not wish to see you hurt.  No parent...well, responsible and loving parent...ever wants to see their child hurting.  Listen to them.  If you rebel against them, then you are severing the sail of the only ship you have to sail.  This is your life.  Do not sail with reckless abandon.  Be responsible.

Get a job... yeah, you may be 18 or even 20 and still living with your parents.  If you are not going to college...GET A JOB.  I'm sure that in this economy, you've figured out that money is hard to earn and if you are looking at entering into adulthood, do not sponge off of your parents.  DO NOT STEAL from your parents.  Do not steal from anyone.  They raised you and it's time that you figure out what you want to do in life and help out financially if you expect them to continuously shelter, feed and clothed you while you are no longer a dependent.

Continue your education.  I'm 30 years old and only have a high school diploma.  I had thought that would be enough and when I graduated, it was enough.  I worked some hard jobs before I ended up where I was prior to being laid off.  Now, the job market is over saturated with employed folks.  A lot of these folks of college degrees and will be those more likely hired over the likes of me.  Continue your education while you are still young and if you are still in high school, talk to your guidance counselor and create a road plan to college.  There are scholarships available to you that will not be available when you are an adult.  I've finally decided to go to college and start in September.  Please, value your education and soak everything that you can into your brain.  Do not let computers, cell phones and whatever dumb you down right now.  Pull yourself out of facebook and read a book. 

Another thing...don't use drugs.  Regardless how you may feel about that right now... Nothing good comes of it and there are employers who have such extensive drug testing for employment, that they can go back 7 years to determine if you'd used drugs.  They take some of your hair and can read what you've consumed.  If you drink, please wait until you are 21 to drink.  If you drink younger than 21, your emotional immaturity can really come out and cause you to act out and say things that you would have never otherwise done.  Also, don't start smoking.  It is not cool.  It makes your clothes stink, causes respiratory issues along with a whole buffet of other issues.  Those who smoke now wish every day that they could quit.  It's a very addictive drug and addicts become dependent on the nicotine. 

The moral of this blog...don't jump into anything so drastic when you have rose-colored glasses glued to your face.  Everyone is entitled to mistakes, but learn to listen to your environment and allow your heart to have training wheels.  Don't let it take off like a rocket and burn someone in the process.

Yes, there was a time when I had thought that I knew it all...but I knew nothing.  I'm still gradually learning and figuring out who I am; but, I have a good idea.  Like the song says, perhaps in my next thirty years I'll enjoy the smaller and more simple things in life that I had taken for granted in my previous thirty years.

Laugh often, keep a good sense of humor, don't tell jokes that aren't funny to anyone and always work at improving yourself.  Please wait till you are married before you have children.  Children are a huge financial obligation and are not like obtaining a family pet...even though there are people who feel that they can be abandoned as easily. 

I am not a smart person nor do I believe that I even know it all now.  I'm only sharing some things that I've learned and observed over my lifetime.  I know of some kids who are wanting to jump into a marriage without knowing nor understanding the fundamental truths of adulthood.  They let their jealousies get to them and their arguments turn violent.  Oh, I see my past here.  Please, if it's something that you really want to do while you are a teenager, or even in your 20s, get counseling prior to getting married to get to learn what each of you want in life and whether your personalities will click in the long haul.  All relationships seem magical that first year, but then it fades.  If you are jealous and angry all the time now after only six months of dating or so, what is it going to be like a year or two from now?  I know a few teenagers who want to jump right into marriage.  Marriage is a very serious thing and I strongly believe in those vows.  Don't cheat, don't lie, don't steal and always love one another.  Some marriages fail, that's the unfortunate truth...  Be sure.

Also, don't take yourself for granted.  Don't lose yourself in self pity.  Stay active; otherwise, at the age of 30, you will be like me and feel pain in every joint and have a hard time walking.  You may be skinny now...but that changes in the blink of an eye.  :)  LOL - I used to have no shape and was a thin as a stick that had broken off of a rosebush.  yeah....that changed.

Most importantly, say "I'm sorry"  Despite how you may feel, there are going to be times that you are going to be wrong.  Don't try to blame your errors on others.  Just say "I'm sorry" and move on.  It's amazing what those two words can mean and heal.

So...while you are enjoying your youth and believing that you know everything...just realize that you aren't the first batch of teenagers and 20 somethings that have ever walked this planet.  Know that we've made the same mistakes and am only trying to help you avoid what generations before you couldn't avoid.  Don't let your pride and arrogance destroy you.  You do not only hurt yourself in this thing called life...you hurt everyone around you.

Live.
Laugh.
Love.
Remain Honest.
Remain Faithful.
Value Education.
Stay in Shape.
Stay Healthy.

I do not know it all.  But, I do know what hurts and realize where I made my mistakes in life, how I made those mistakes and how I had hurt people in the past.  Like my profile says...I have had my heart broken and have broken hearts as well.

Thank you for reading this blog.

This is just something that I had to say because of the attitudes of so many in high school and recent grads have.  You'll understand one of these days.  One of these days, you'll write a blog just like this one.  And you'll laugh and say that you turned into one of your parents despite making the promise to yourself that you'd never be "them"

Be well.