The Pendulum Never Ceases
I've neglected this blog page for too long. So today, I am copying and pasting another blog that I've been updating the past.

In Life Again
1/20/2006 5:31:49 PM
Ok, ok, ok... I can finally say that I've given in to the cliches... I've got back out there, I've got on the horse again, I've joined the world of the living and any other little one liner you can use on someone who's allowed themselves to become a shut-in to the world.

I must say that I'm quite a reluctant person, especially after what I've been through in 2005. It's hard for me to talk to people. It's hard for me to even let anyone near me again. What's the point?

Well, you'd be proud of me this evening, world... I actually met up with someone this evening and had a live conversation. Not an online chat, not a phone conversation and not made up words in a poem.

It was good to be out among the living again. I probably came across as some weird hick. I'm not as elegant as I write...a little rough around the edges. I've quite a little personality on me :o) ha But regardless, it was good to meet with someone face-to-face.

Someone told me at work today, that I was a true diamond in the rough. He cheered me on to say that I was a wonderful person and had such great qualities that anyone would be lucky to find. He said that I really needed to get out in life to allow myself to be found. Perhaps it was that little bit of advice and cheering on that I received today that made me decide, very spur of the moment, to go out tonight. It's nice when there are some people who notice that I'm here. It's always nice to receive a "hi" from someone at work or for someone to politely hold the door for me at the store. It's nice to know that I exist. Lately, I've felt like nothing more than a ghost...like a cold chill in the room that some could feel and others were oblivious to. Nice to know that this ghost has a reflection at times.

Eh, this probably doesn't make sense, but what is the point of it anyway...this is a blog. I do not really know the point of the blog other than to blurt out what is on my mind and to allow you into my world word by word.

Bare with me world. Let this pendulum keep swinging. For every low point a pendulum has, it has two high points on each side. I guess that means that there will always be more happiness to conteract the sadness in life.


A Cold and Empty Wind
1/18/2006 3:30:46 PM
Today was your typical Indiana winter day... However, what makes this day unusual: the past several days have been in the 50's and near 60 degrees. Such beautiful days!

Yesterday, the temp was 50 degrees at 6:30 in the morning only to tumble and deliver rain turning to sleet turning to snow last night.

This morning...mayhem.

The interstate was nothing more than a congested sheet of ice. So many slide offs, so many wrecks. Some people who'll never see their destinations, never clock in at work nor hug their loved ones after a hard day...

And as if this morning's numerous tragedies were nothing more than a fairytale...the temperatures are returning to the middle 50's tomorrow...

It's hard to make sense of it, I guess. True, people will talk of global warming, others will talk about the "end of days" and others will have conspiracy theories on why nature is acting the way it is.

I have no theories nor explanations.

It does remind me of life though...of the simple human condition.

We can swing from one extreme to the next without warning. We can be delivered grief or joy within hours of one another. We can be broken by things that are invisible to ourselves. A heart that was once so warm and carefree can suddenly become cold and dark. Days that felt as though they'd last forever can succumb to the darkest and longest nights.

This cold snap reminded me that I need to live. You never know what will happen from one day to the next. I know that line is cliche and so dreadfully, dreadfully overused. But, how many of us truly live by that creed? I'm sure that we all neglect something or someone at some point in our lives that we'd regret if something were to happen.

So, if this touched you in any way, I hope that you give that someone special an extra hug just because and tell your loved ones and friends that you appreciate them. Call them out of the blue, mail them an actual hand written letter or stop by to visit them.

At this time of year when we are depressed, it is always great to no that someone does care.

I know of a man whom died on his way to work nearly 2 years ago. Slid on black ice...never saw it coming. It was a shock to everyone. Don't leave someone out of your life.



Indecision
1/14/2006 6:36:31 PM
Well... I've decided that I am not going to risk the gamble of getting a CDL license. I'd have to quit my job just to be able to take the two week training and if I didn't pass the test, I'd be _______.

So, I'm just wondering what my purpose is in life...aren't we all???? :o) I'm sort of anxious to see what story that I next play in...what stage that my feet will walk across and what audience will applaud or boo me.

The year of 2005 was a hard and yet interesting year when it comes to stories. I do not know why I had thought that it would have been so easy to get through the year. I'm praying that 2006 will be a better year. A better year for me, a better year for my friends and family and a better year for everyone else out there who may have felt any sort of suffering in 2005.

Perhaps you find this small blog amusing, interesting or maybe you just happend to stumble across my words in your random searches on a vast net.

I will leave you with this thought: If we're never willing to read the next line, then how will we know if the current line holds any meaning? We must always go forward.