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MY DARKEST FEAR
Beyond the haziness that is my mind,
A thought does plague me
so.
Lost adrift, weary and nearly blind
There’s no true course to go.
Emotional love, what’s that?
I implore-
But dark shadows exposed to the light?
A gale merely settled before became storm-
Smooth waters hiding
vampirism might.
Lost, still, in this sea of dysfunctional trust,
A moment in time is lost to soul's rant.
Words
that haunted my heart are thrust
Forward, revealing my devilish desires decadent.
My agony and ecstasy purged in
these waters
Silenced a moment, but still raging.
My darkest fear is that love really matters
And is not for the
heart to be caging.
Whisper for me into the wind
As my vessel drifts beyond the mists.
Perhaps a new map, angels
will send
And I’ll know the joy of truly being kissed.
ŠOctober 5, 2002 Lori S. Maynard
I'll Never Understand the Mind of a Man
I'll never understand the mind of a man
who can duct tape anything but can't work a VCR.
I'll never understand
the mind of a man
who can strike up intelligent conversation with "My car..."
I'll never understand the mind of
a man
who thinks anything pickled is a five star meal.
I'll never understand the mind of a man
who is convinced a
papercut is something that never heals.
I'll never understand the mind of a man
who must disassemble anything electric.
I'll
never understand the mind of a man
who views a bug zapper and Coors as hectic.
I'll never understand the mind of
a man
who can go for days with without shaving
I'll never understand the mind of a man
who spanks himself for misbehaving.
I'll
never understand the mind of a man
who can't go a day without being sarcastic.
I'll never understand the mind of a man
who
thinks all farts are fantastic.
I'll never understand the mind of a man
who believes a bathroom is a fine library.
I'll
never understand the mind of men...
but, who else would we ever marry?
ŠAugust 8, 2002 Lori S. Maynard
Beneath the Metal Sun
Standing sole deep in the trampled sawdust lanes
Beneath the chocking dust clouds of sun's intent
Wondering all
thoughts at once and none at all
Most of all - just wondering where time was spent.
Music pulsating beyond my young
comprehension -
Pitchmen's smooth voices falling silent and mute
Into the future I stumbled with just slight hesitation
-
Why I did it, it is still up for strangers to dispute.
Metal skeletons shrieking in their moaning laughter
As
they twirl and dance upon our every command.
Lights throwing themselves into the great Here After
Lighting multiple
odysseys over our small land.
The long days of summer weighed heavy on my skin.
Tanned beyond shadow and weight
growing frail.
I played before swarmers who would beg me to win
And before this swarm, I stood as though in their jail.
My
awning now swaying as midnight sets upon
Our ever-changing lot of noise, fun and food.
Nearby trees rustle and sway
till we are gone
It is the town that feels we purposely intrude.
My voice has long since shattered one lost night
As
my pitch fell silent with a shocking glare
From those around who gossiped of my robber's might
They accuse me without
just cause being there.
Because they lost my game - What? Out one buck?
I must be a thief, whore and not to forget,
a liar
Because I tempted these people out of their luck
And somehow my game must be rigged with wire.
Those long,
endless summer days I remember
With a soft aching somewhere in the past
That wanes gently as though a dying ember
And
into the darkness of memory, I am cast.
The price of my soul was one dollar to you
...maybe I was lucky to be tagged
at that worth.
Of my compassion and intelligence you held no clue
You only saw this carnival. This was the place
of my rebirth
ŠJuly 31, 2003 Lori S. Maynard
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