The Carnival Poet

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Broken Poems

This is a page dedicated for the poetry
written by a broken heart and depressed Muse

A Letter to No One
Ah, I write this letter for No One.
So many emotions, but no one to share.
So many dreams but no one listens.
When nightmares stir me, No One's there.

No One is my best friend in life
who shares triumps and the pains.
No One is there to help me through
when I can no longer hold the reins.

I want, so much, to share my life
but writing this letter will have to do
because I have No One to write to...
and no one who'll say "I love you."

I picked up pen and paper
to purge my heart of ache and loneliness.
I'm pretending that I've someone to write.
Pretending that there's hope in all this mess.

But, what am I to you, world?
Have you ever gotten to know this author?
Have you ever called me a friend?
Or am I nothing more than rumor?

Did you know that I was crying
and barely held the will to carry on?
Struggling day by day in sadness
because I answer to the name, No One.

My pen keeps moving...purge! Purge
the anger and apathy onto this page
for No One shall ever take this to heart
it's merely old art lost in this new age.

I'm writing this letter to No One
because No One loves me so.
No One is my guiding light
when I've had a rough course to go.

I still say my prayers at night
hoping that Someone hears.
For to think that there's No One
reduces me to empty tears.

Someone, please be out there
my world can't be a world of one.
Can Someone ever truly love me
or is that dreaming through and done?

©January 17, 2006 Lori S. Maynard
10 minute free write
A Storm's Moving In

One more night has gone.
No life remains the same.
The western wind is blowing
and dragging in the rain.

I feel this old house shuttering.
The winds are just too strong.
I feel as though it will collapse
and splinter before too long.

One more night is done with,
remove its page from the wall.
The calendar serves only to remind
there are future days to fall.

I ventured into that storm tonight
and drove down an unforgiving interstate.
There were dark storm clouds behind me
and before me, dark clouds of future fate.

My heart is numb and chilly.
It seeks out the comfort of a fire
that can serve to warm my soul
and not damn me to funeral pyre.

©January 20, 2006 Lori S. Maynard
7 minute free write

Poet's Prayer (Heartbreak)

Once more, I find myself alone within this twisted mire
of lives cascading here and there - rushing...but no fire.
What lies, deceit and jerks I meet...why, Lord, be it so?
If not the physical, then emotional abuse is the way to go?

Where once there was a smile ever so bright upon my face
is now an empty shadow...frowning...jilted and out of place.
He lied to me and to my heart...damn those stupid games!
I only wanted to love someone and for them to feel the same!

Is that too much to ask of one who says they wish that too?
Dear Lord, please reprieve this pain, I’ve already paid my dues.
Looking...looking once more for that smile I wish to keep.
Lord, I pray unto you...lend me comfort now as I continue to weep.

Give me strength when I feel as though I can no longer stand.
Give me courage when I feel my heart’s been ripped out by a hand.
Give me love when I feel as though all I can do is self-loath.
Give me direction when I feel as though I’ve lost my road.

I feel as though all has a reason within this mixed up world.
I cannot fathom any more pain...I’m just a simple girl!
I’ve been bruised, choked and beaten emotionally by words!
I’ve survived some horrible things to become flighty as the birds.

Give me the serenity that I shall need to look at someone and trust
that they are not before me to harm me nor to cause heart to further rust.
Please, mend my broken heart as you would mend a broken wing.
Let it find its true match out there...let this song find voice to sing!

I do not wish to be alone, Lord.  Hear this young poet’s prayer.
Wrap your arms around me when I need most for someone to care.

©December 26, 2005 Lori S. Maynard
4 minute free write, unrevised.

What I do not See

Everyone tells me to smile
and that I've such a beautiful heart.
But I think that it's a broken
and totally useless part.

How can I be so easily cast away
when so many say I'm wonderful?
They say someone would be lucky to have me
...then why give me pain unimaginable?

I've tried to figure this all out
and try to figure how hearts work.
Because mine seems like a divining rod
and can locate any hidden jerk.

Every night, I write of my pain
to purge it from muse's mind.
Sometimes I feel as though I'm writing devil's contract
and will lose my soul when poem's signed.

I plead to world and to God
to cease this pain - I'm not strong enough to bear
the weight of the world upon me
and cannot love what just is not there.

©January 21, 2006 Lori S. Maynard
7 minute free write
time written: 10:25-10:32 p.m. 


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